Eldar: the Whining

This is mostly a placeholder. It's going to get a lot nicer and fancier over time, with stupid amounts of bullshit text that nobody ever reads.

Creating a Character:
Name: you should have one of these
Virtue and Vice: this is bullshit, but I guess it's compulsory
Aspect: your school of combat. Kind of like Vampire Clans.
Craftworld: the place you come from. Kind of like… the other stuff in WW games.

Attributes: 6/5/3
Skills: 11/7/4
Specialisations: 3
Merits: 7 (plus "Aspect Equipment" 1 for free)
Superiorities: 3 (1 from any, 1 from Aspect or Secondary, 1 from Aspect)
Discipline: 6
Willpower: 3

Power sources:
Psykers have a maximum Smug pool equal to double their dots in Psyker. These are spent to use Psychic Powers.
Everyone has a maximum Sad pool of ten, plus one for every Aspect they "master" (reaching Discipline 9 and swapping out).
Sad can be used to power Superiorities, and can also be spent to negate the Perfectness of a Perfect roll.

One of each is regained every morning. Additionally, any time a Psyker gets a Perfect Roll, he gains one point of Smug. He can also, if empty, tap into the Warp for more Smug, automatically reducing his Discipline by one but refilling his Smug. Every time someone suffers a Dramatic Failure, they regain one Sad. Spending a point of Willpower also grants another point of Sad - the more they use up their inner reserves, the less will they have left and the more sad they become.

It's the equivalent of Humanity or Wisdom or whatever

10: Locked in forever as Exarch
9: Chance to change Aspect (drop to 6 again)
Sins: Existing (weekly test), looking at self in mirror, getting angry
8: Sins: Having sex ever, taking combat drugs, feeling smug
7: Sins: The Gay, entering a rage, trying new experiences just because
6: Starting Point
Sins: Hurting an Eldar, taking recreational drugs, going a week without moping
5: Sins: Killing an Eldar, sexual experimentation
4: Chance to swap to Harlequin
Sins: Bathing in blood, torture, wild orgies
3: Chance to swap to Harlequin or Dark Path
Sins: drug binges, self-mutilation, not blaming someone else for your troubles
2: Chance to swap to Dark Path
Sins: Perfect rolls, slaughtering/massacring groups, cannibalism
1: On the edge – test daily to avoid dropping to 0

Perfect roll: any extraordinary success with no 1 rolled. (You're so perfect that Slaanesh gets a little bit closer to owning your soul and/or anus)

Harlequin Change:
Contacted if: no Skill or Attribute is under 2, Dex must be 4+, Pre must be 3+, Expression must be 4+

The offer will be made - if it is declined, they might never again make the offer. Or maybe they will, when they think you are ready.
If accepted, they put three tests before you.

First test: fight a group of armed humans, unarmed, and win

Second test: disguise well enough to not be recognised by those closest to you

Third test: bring an audience to tears with a production/play/song/performance

If successful, your Soulstone is shattered in sacrifice to the Laughing God and you completely ignore the Discipline part of the character sheet.
A Harlequin does not hold to such things and is at no risk of being nommed by Slaanesh.

Equipment Gained: Mesh, Power Sword or Harlequin's Kiss, Splinter Pistol, bright colourful spandex, masks, ancient scripts, a musical instrument
Access: Grav Maga (Fighting Style)

Dark Eldar Change:
Generally requires finding some Dark Eldar, and convincing them you are depraved enough to join. This should be hard, and frankly, is usually just a way to write your character out as a villain. Discipline gets replaced with Depravity (or Edginess), and they can no longer gain replacement Aspect gear or take dots in Aspect Equipment. Likewise they cannot take any more dots in Craftworld-Eldar Superiorities, but instead get access to new Superiorities. They must make a choice for their new path: Kabalite, Wych, Hellion

Note that there is no going back - although a Dark Eldar can still become a Harlequin.

10: Magnificent Bastard -tier. Forever safe, you actually get a free pass.
9: Sins: not torturing someone who is under your power, not having sex with something that is right there for the taking
8: Sins: Thinking a pleasant thought, not beating the shit out of your underlings
7: Sins: Going for a day without sexual gratification or taking drugs
6: Sins: Killing someone without enjoying it, having Consensual, non-bondage sex
5: Sins: killing a foe you could instead capture or disable
4: Starting point (or point-of-conversion)
Sins: Not taking drugs that are right there for the taking
3: Chance to instead become a Harlequin
Sins: Showing Mercy (including a Mercy-kill)
2: Sins: Showing Compassion
1: Dangerous ground - without effort, you must test every day to avoid dropping to zero and being claimed

Eldar Opinions:

Humans: hey caused all our problems, and they are not important or useful at all.
Mages: look at those pathetic little Psychic powers, ours are better!
Vampires: they are not as beautiful or tragic as us. Our romances are better.
Werewolves: they are ugly, easily angered and servants of Khorne. Stupid dogfuckers.


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Commoragh (Dark Eldar starting characters only)
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A starting character automatically gets the first dot in "Aspect Equipment" for free. Additionally, most of their starting Superiority dots depend on their Aspect. If a character reaches Discipline 9, they may undergo a transformation, involving paperwork, poetry and a week of meditation. At the end of that time, they drop to Discipline 6, but change to a new Aspect - they can no longer advance "Aspect Equipment" for their old Aspect, and cannot increase their old Aspect's primary Superiority until the new one is at the same level or higher. However they don't actually lose anything, and gain a free dot in "Aspect Equipment" for their new Aspect.

A character who reaches Discipline 10 cannot do this, as they are locked in as an Exarch forever.

All Aspects come with an optional Flaw. You may elect to take it (unless the MC says "No Flaws, they're dumb"), in which case any time you play it up and it inconveniences you, you get an extra XP. They are intentionally derpy.

Dire Avengers
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME, and any time something looks like an objective, sitting down and CLAIMING it.
Primary Superiority: Beautiful
Secondary Superiority: Dashing
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh Armour, Avenger Shuriken Catapult, Make-up Kit, Poetry Book
•• Mirror Shield, Plasma Grenades, Fleur de Fleur Perfume
••• Exarch Avenger Catapult, Sparkling Tights
•••• Dire Sword, Book of Erotic Memoirs, Black Eyeliner
••••• Wave Serpent, Black Lipstick, Assless Chaps

Striking Scorpions
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: always hide, whisper, stalk people, set traps up everywhere just in case
Primary Superiority: Dashing
Secondary Superiority: Precious
Aspect Equipment:
Scorpion Carapace, Shuriken Pistol, Chainsword, Green Tights
•• Mandiblasters, Linkin Park CD and CD Player
••• Chainsabres, Plasma Grenades, Rolled up sock (for tights)
•••• Scorpion Claw, Facial Moisturiser, Glitter
••••• Biting Blade, Lime-flavoured Ass Plug

Warp Spiders
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: "YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!" Warp flashbacks, and never walk to where you can teleport
Primary Superiority: Precious
Secondary Superiority: Supple
Aspect Equipment: Precious
Carapace, Death Spinners, Purple Face Paint
•• Web-Jumper Pack, Glow-in-the-dark Vampire Fangs
••• Forearm Blades, CD Player and MCR CD
•••• Mandiblasters, Sewing kit (black, purple, red and silver only)
••••• Spinneret Rifle, Mood Ring, Banana-flavoured Condoms

Howling Banshees
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: total metalheads who like LOUD MUSIC, natural form of movement seems to be parkour
Primary Superiority: Supple
Secondary Superiority: Rampant
Aspect Equipment:
Silicone Breast Implants, Mesh, two Swords, Luxury Shampoo and Conditioner
•• Banshee Mask, two Power Swords, ten Boxes of Tissues
••• Two Mirror Swords, CD Player and Evanescence CD
•••• Triskele, Rainbow Vulva-shape Ring, Megaphone
••••• Executioner, G-string, Expensive Make-up, Ass-Implants

Shadow Spectres
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: constantly seeing (and speaking to) ghosts
Primary Superiority: Darling
Secondary Superiority: FABULOUS
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh, ten Boxes of Tissues, Prism Rifle, Flute
•• Holofield, Haywire Grenades, Sadface mask
••• Jet Pack, Oestrogen suppliments, Black Hairdye
•••• Haywire Launcher, Gothic Eye Shadow
••••• Prism Lance, Portable DVD Player with 11 hours of Romantic Comedies

Shining Spears
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: drug-addicted speed-freaks, can't sit still
Primary Superiority: Rampant
Secondary Superiority: Gorgeous
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh, Motorcycle, Fuzzy Dice, Sherbert
•• Jetbike, Bumper Stickers, Cocaine, Organ Donor Card
••• Laser Lance, CD full of Road-Trip appropriate music
•••• Underslung Shuriken Cannon, GPS, Hydraulics (on a hover vehicle)
••••• Star Lance, Thousands of Sparklers, Biker Tats (stick-on, washable)

Swooping Hawks
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: always perch up at the highest points possible, looking down on everyone and hopping about
Primary Superiority: FABULOUS
Secondary Superiority: Beautiful
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh, Lasblaster, Native American Feathery Headdress
•• Hawk Wings, Haywire Grenades, Hawk Mask, Pretty Hair Ribbons
••• Hawk Talons, Plasma Grenades, Neon Sparkly Body Paint
•••• Hawk Grenade Pack, Rainbow Lipstick
••••• Sunrifle, Ass Plug With Peacock Feathers

Fire Dragons
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: severe pyromania
Primary Superiority: Lovely
Secondary Superiority: Darling
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh, SPF-9001 Sunscreen, Hundreds of Cigarette Lighters, fifty Cuban Cigars
•• Fusion Gun, Portable Stove with Sausages, Deep Heat Cream
••• Tanning Bed, Carcinogenic Tanning Lotion, Melta Bombs
•••• Firepike, Deep-Heat Condoms and Dildo
••••• Dragon's Breath Flamer, Fire-Eating Kit, CD Player and Rammstein CD

Dark Reapers
"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: obsessive landscaping/redecorating, mainly with explosives
Primary Superiority: Gorgeous
Secondary Superiority: Lovely
Aspect Equipment:
Carapace, Helmet with Video Camera, Farm Scythe, Purple Tights, Fireworks
•• Reaper Launcher, Cocktail Mixer, Book of Fruity Cocktail Recipes
••• Bazooka, Pink Glow-in-the-Dark Body Paint, CD Player and Dashboard Confessionals CD
•••• Underslung Grenade Launcher, Weapon Harness (reduces recoil by diverting vibrations into the body~)
••••• Tempest Launcher, Bottle of Vulva Scent

"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: …
Primary Superiority: Naughty
Secondary Superiority: Bitchy
Aspect Equipment:
Mesh, Splinter Pistol, wine, cigarettes, XTC
•• Splinter Rifle, heroin, crystal meth, ear/lip/nipple piercings
••• Blaster, Shardcarbine, genital piercings/tattoos, bourbon, branding iron
•••• Shredder, Splinter Cannon, cocaine, portable HD with 10 Tb of illegal porn
••••• Huskblade, Dark Lance, Soultrap, bitches, absinthe

"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: …
Primary Superiority: Sexy
Secondary Superiority: Naughty
Aspect Equipment:
Wychsuit, Splinter Pistol, switchblade, silicone breast implants, Sledgehammer, speed, PCP, wrasslin costume
•• Hydra Gauntlets, Razor Snare, Trident, cocaine, razorblades hidden in strange places
••• Blast Pistol, Barbed Net, Falchion, wedding dress, WychCorp drug-pack, handcuffs
•••• Haywire Grenades, Plasma Grenades, Agoniser, Razorflails, expensive bondage kit
••••• Neurocorrosive Whip, Phantasm Launchers, industrial-strength superheated vibrator

"quote goes here"
Opinions on the others:
Optional Flaw: …
Primary Superiority: Bitchy
Secondary Superiority: Sexy
Aspect Equipment:
Wychsuit, Hellion Skyboard, cosmetic surgery (fangs and claws)
•• Hellglaive, body piercings (everywhere), hair cement, ripped jeans
••• Stunclaw, cocaine, speed, PCP, spray paint
•••• Agoniser, Phantasm Launchers, tequila, spoiler and mad spinnaz to make the board fully sick, mate
••••• Pet Monsters, trophy rack (for decapitations), fishing hooks to hang off the back


Beautiful (Dire Avengers)
Night-Sight: you can always see in the dark. AMAZING!
•• Too Sad For Fear: you never suffer any fear. Indeed, any time you would be scared, you instead just gain an extra point of Sad.
••• Point-Blank: when shooting someone at point-blank range, close enough for them to punch you, you can spend 1 Sad to get 8-again.
•••• Dire "Sword": you can spend 1 Sad to add your remaining Sad points to a dice pool related to picking up. Your penis (if you have one) can even pierce the protective wraithbone shell of a female Eldar's vag.
••••• Bladestorm: when shooting, you can spend one Sad to shoot everyone you can see - even if it's on the TV or something.

Dashing (Striking Scorpions)


Precious (Warp Spiders)
Warp Senses: you can spend one Sad point to gain the ability to detect weird crap in the Warp for one scene.
•• Reliable Bloop: if you suffer a Dramatic Failure when Blooping, you can re-roll the die, but have to stick with the second result.
••• Bloop Defence: by spending one Sad point when Dodging, you can Triple your Defence. If the foe misses, they suffer a Dramatic Failure.
•••• Detachable Penis: you can spend one Sad point to make a melee attack out to anywhere you can see, teleporting your limb. Also, you can detach (via teleportation) a single body part to keep safe at home, by spending one Sad point. Every day you go without it, you lose one Willpower though.
••••• Blooper Dooper: you can tele-frag people. Make a Dex+Computer+Precious roll opposed by Dex+Athletics. If you score more successes than them, you appear in their location and they explode, killed.

Supple (Howling Banshees)
Echolocation: if you can't see but can hear, then by making noise you can still navigate just as well.
•• Fleet: by spending one Sad point, you can double your Speed or Initiative for the scene (pick one). You can spend two Sad and gain both.
••• Furious Charge: if you charge someone and hit them, you can knock them over, trample them and charge someone else. This can go on forever.
•••• Screamer: everybody within a (Supple+Stamina) mile radius knows when you have an orgasm. Also, you can spend one Sad point to screech in someone's face in combat. Make a Stamina+Expression+Supple check opposed by their Stamina+Willpower. If you gain more successes than them, you Stun them for one round per success you beat them by. An Exceptional Success stuns them for one day per success you beat them by.
••••• Natural Frequency: by spending a Sad point, you can scream at a nearby object or creature. Roll Stamina+Expression+Supple opposed by Stamina*2. If you get more successes, they are shattered and killed.

Rampant (Shining Spears)
Don't Crash: you don't split your dice pool for Piloting AND doing another thing in the same turn.
•• Starguide: you can read the stars and navigate that way.
••• Hit and Run: after attacking someone, you can spend one Sad point to immediately retreat your full Speed.
•••• Turbo-Ramming: you can spend one Sad point to double your Speed and Initiative for a Scene. Also, you can reach orgasm in just 3 seconds.
••••• Cosmic Highway: you can fly in space without suffering bad effects.

FABULOUS (Swooping Hawks)
Wind Talk: you can read wind patterns to know if there are big flying things within (FABULOUS) miles or what the weather will be like tomorrow.
•• Skyslide: you take no penalties for actions performed while flying.
••• Skyleap: after attacking, you can spend one Sad point to fly your full speed.
•••• Dazzling Display: you can spend one Sad point to distract people when flying. Everyone suffers a penalty on dice pools for one round equal to your FABULOUS rating. Also you gain the 8-again rule when trying to pick up in a gay bar.
••••• Tibetan Butterfly: by dancing about for a whole minute and spending one Sad per minute you want it to last, you can create a huge hurricane when then goes about ruining shit.

Gorgeous (Dark Reapers)
Smooth Load: you suffer no recoil at all with any weapons, and can ignore the Strength minimums
•• Crack Shot: you suffer no penalties for distance, movement, cover etc. when shooting, and suffer no penalties for making called shots. If the called shot is in fact to the crack, then you gain 8-again.
••• Heat-Seeker: when firing rockets at anything warmer than room temperature, you can re-roll the dice if you like, by spending one Sad.
•••• Turbofire: by spending one point of Sad, you can take TWO shooting actions instead of one. This doesn't split the dice pool, you just get two turns of shooting. Explosive Finish: any time you blow a building or car up, you get 1 Willpower back. Also, everyone in (Gorgeous+Stamina) miles knows about it when you come.
••••• Missile Guidance: when firing a missile, you can actually move it around, possessing it with a first-person view. This lets you pilot the missile with a Dex+Drive+Gorgeous check each round. Nuclear Option: by spending one Sad, you can turn a missile into a nuclear bomb when it hits.

Lovely (Fire Dragons)
Thermo-Vision: by spending one Sad point, you can see heat for a Scene like you had IR goggles. Wow.
•• Tank Hunter: if you attack a vehicle, you gain the 8-again rule.
••• Feel No Pain: your nerve endings got fried, so you can't feel pain.
•••• Burning Sensation: you suffer no penalties of any kind when shooting someone, and can even make called shots with flamethrowers.
••••• Burning Rivers: by spending one Sad point, you can make a giant lava flow that fills the streets. By spending two Sad, you can shoot a point on the ground and make a volcano erupt from there in one minute.

Darling (Shadow Spectres)
Ghostfloat: using a jetpack doesn't cause any penalties, even when hovering all over the place.
•• Ghost Shrouds: you can add your Sad rating to your Defence when Dodging (after Doubling Defence).
••• Ghost Talk: you can see and speak to spirits and other ghostly things just fine. Ghostlink: by spending one Sad point, you can "steal" an energy attack fired at or to you, storing it into your gun. On your next attack, add them together.
•••• Cynosure: when firing the Ghostlink weapon, you can spend one Sad to re-roll all dice that aren't Hits. Mourne the Dead: by having a big cry for one hour, you get one Sad back.
••••• The Spirits: your body fluids all become vodka the moment they leave you, so you can cry booze. Getting cut really hurts, by the way. Ghostbody: by spending one Sad, you can turn incorporeal and ghostly for one Scene. Another Sad makes you invisible as well, and spending one Smug lets you also interact with the physical world when YOU want to.

Naughty (Kabalites)


Sexy (Wyches)


Bitchy (Hellions)


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