Yazata's Diary

First entry

My name is Yazata Rashnu, and I've died.

Or at least, that's what I thought a few months ago, when I was stabbed with poisoned blades, tied to a rock and thrown into a river. I was still alive, still clinging to consciousness, as the river dragged me away from the place of my execution, and the only thought on my mind was that I was dying, but that I didn't want to. I had things to do, I had duties, promises, jobs… and now I had revenge. So I didn't die, it's still mostly a blur, but now that I've had Senonu's library to myself for a while, I think I've figured it out. Luna rescued me, or rather, she gave me the strength to rescue myself, and now I am what they call Anathema.

They say that we almost broke the world once, the Immaculate Faith say we'll do it again if we aren't killed, but I don't feel like a monster. I feel like someone who has things that need to be done. Senonu employed me to keep him safe and, even though it wasn't my intent, being killed took me away from that, so I owe him. Until he no longer has need of me, his survival, his protection, is my duty. That's one thing that I know about life: You keep your promises and you finish your jobs.

So if I've got so much to do, why am I writing this diary? It's to order my mind, I suppose. Sometimes it all seems like a mess. I have duties, but I also have things that tug at me otherwise, like my revenge. I know some of the names involved, Tirian who tied me to the rock, Kiecha who stabbed me and poisoned me. Treachery on behalf of my employers, they didn't know loyalty, and I don't like that, someone should teach them a lesson. And there's someone new, Kotero, I don't know why, but I find it easy to promise to help him out, even though I know those are promises I can't break. I'm not sure if he's doing something to my head or not, he's one of us, so he could be… but it doesn't feel like it.

I guess this is my life now. Revenge, protection, duty. And when I surpass my current limits, I'll teach everyone the meaning of those words.

~Yazata Rashnu

Second Entry

My name is Yazata Rashnu, and I've screwed up.

In the span of one day, I've made more mistakes than I have in my entire life. I left Senonu alone to pursue my own revenge, I dragged Kotero into danger, and then it all turned out to be for nothing, Kiecha slipped through my fingers. I thought I had him, I could imagine my swords sinking into his gut, imagine the look on his face as I cleaved his heart in half, and then it turned out that he was better than me. I was stupid, cocky, overconfident, I should have dealt with him safely, from a distance, instead of rushing in with the urge to feel his blood on my hands. It turns out he's not even mortal, he's a Dragonblood, more experienced than me. If not for Kotero, goddamned Kotero whom I've promised to help out again, I would have died in that alley.

Him and some brat of Lunar, yet another Anathema like us, gave Kiecha the fright of his life, scared him off, dragged me back to Senonu.

The only good thing out of the evening is that I know I'm not alone in Nexus. Saeno, an old associate, hasn't betrayed me, he still knows what it means to stick to your word, to do a job right. But if I'm arrayed against Exalts like myself, I can't drag him into things. So I'm still alone in this fight.

At least we're leaving Nexus for a while. Would you believe I've never been out of this city much? When Kiecha and Tirian almost murdered me, when the river carried me away from this pit, that was the farthest I'd ever been from the city, and then I spent every minute trying to claw myself back. It'll give me a chance to get my thoughts straight, find out what this new girl wants with me.

Somehow I'd always imagined that more power would make life simpler, mark me down for yet another mistake.

~Yazata Rashnu

Third Entry

And here I thought nothing was going to happen between my last entry and leaving Nexus, chalk me up for being wrong again. Seems to be a running theme. Senonu dragged us out to some little party, something he kept calling a "swah-ray," and we met everyone there. Abyssals, Fair Folk, Dragonbloods and even a pair of Gods. One of them was Shalrina, who seems to be Senonu's friend, but the other was actually interesting. I never even knew that the Nexus postal system had a deity, but she was inspiring, never wavered in her work despite all the hardships. I promised to send some prayers her way before she headed off, and she left me with a letter…

That letter.

From Rachai, telling me I had things back to front, that he was my friend and Saeno my foe. I had planned to just lop his head off and toss it into the river, but now I'm unsure again. It seems like the only option left to me now is to find Kiecha, again, and wring the truth out of him.

We also managed to get embroiled in the chase for some Solar's tomb. Nothing but riddles! Never my strong suit, but maybe Senonu or Kotero can figure it out. Or Toya, I thought he was just Senonu's meathead guard, but it turns out he's got depth to him. Apparently he actually saved some girl from Thorns, practically like a fairytale. What I wouldn't have given to get rescued by a shining knight when I was her age… Though ideally without having to be stuck in Thorns first.

Speaking of learning more, I met Sofia again tonight. She's… not so bad, seems like she knows more about the whole thing than me, so I'm listening to her for now. I agreed to help her in exchange for her not forcing me to deal with the rest of the "Silver Pact," which I gather is a bunch of old Lunars. I don't have time to go play their games, I have people to kill, things to do, places to fix. But I'll see her again when we return from Great Forks where we'll handle Kotero's job, it should be fast.

~Yazata Rashnu

Fourth Entry

2nd of Resplendent Wood, between Nexus and Great Forks

Today Kotero almost got us killed, and if it hadn't been for Toya, at least one of us would probably be passing on his spark. We entered some scrubby village by the river(after I had to talk Senonu out of dragging us through the edges of the Walker's Realm to look at a tower) just as it was being attacked by Arczechki raiders. Senonu was already halfway out of the village by the time we spotted them, the only smart thing he's done on this journey, but Kotero stood his ground, and that obligated me to stand with him. Toya, too, remained, and I suppose the fear of seeming like a coward in front of the rest of us must have kept Senonu from running.

Killing any of the individual raiders did nothing, and we would have been overrun in short order if Toya hadn't rallied the defenders. The rest of us were reduced to doing what we could to thin the crowd while he pushed through the defenders towards their leaders, obliterating each in turn with a single strike. A reminder of what we can do when we don't let bother to be subtle… of course between him and the lightshow that Senonu threw up to dissuade a barbarian from smashing him through a house, the villagers quickly figured out who and what he and Toya were. I don't think they paid much attention to Kotero and myself, which is a boon.

So we're staying here for the night, enjoying their hospitality before we head for Great Forks in the morning. I wish Kotero would be less… noble. It's very adorable extremely infuriating, we can't stop to save everyone in the world whenever we leave the house. The Arczechki won't stop raiding just because we bloodied their noses once, we'd have to either kill every last barbarian or stay here for the rest of our lives in order to keep these peasants safe. Sooner or later he has to figure that out, maybe then he'll he a bit more tolerable.

We're also going to have to head back by the river. Word's going to spread of what went down, and we already know there are agents of the Realm in the area. If there's any place they'd stage an ambush, it'd be here on our way back.

I should have asked Robla if he had any work to do in Great Forks… but maybe I can bring him something nice anyway. It should be safe to snag a few nice items since I'm not planning to return to the place any time soon, there's plenty of work to do in Nexus all by itself.

~~Yazata Rashnu

Fifth Entry

7th of Resplendent Wood

Some day we'll go somewhere without getting into any fights. Any day now, I keep telling myself that.

But for once it wasn't just Senonu blundering into danger, or Kotero and Toya letting their principles drag them into fights, this time I was to blame as well.

Great Forks is a nice place, a bit too open and sunny for someone who's spent all her life in Nexus, but there's something I loathe about it: All the Gods. I mean, don't get me wrong, some Gods are nice people. Spirits. Things. Serena, for instance, works hard, has an ethic, does something that helps us, and just asks that we aren't jackasses about it. But then we've got assholes like this Ralblolsa Ragbolga Rabszolga. He's a God of slavery. Not a God for the slaves, making sure they're treated well and listening to their prayers. No, he's a God for the slavers, to help them keep their prisoners in line.

What sort of assholes would worship something like that? Well, the same sorts of assholes who'd keep slaves in the first place. I guess I never thought about it much before, I always just figured that the thing I cared about was discipline, some sort of honour, hard work, but slavery makes all that purposeless. Without freedom, what's the point of being disciplined? If you're just doing it because someone's going to whip you, you don't really care about it at all!

So yes, diary, I may have done a bit of damage to his temple. Don't look at me like that! Kotero started it by getting into a debate with Rabszolga's priests! I don't think Toya likes the slavery much either.

Speaking of Gods, I met the faithful of Luna today. Bit of a shabby crowd, seems like people usually care more about the other Gods. But alright, I'll admit, it was my first time in one of her Temples myself. I guess I don't know that much about her aside from the obvious, but at least she stands for people making themselves better. Surviving, not giving up, keeping up the fight, and her priests loathe slavery as much as I do. Damn if they're not better at playing cards than I am, though…

Oh, yeah, and so much for thinking Great Forks was just going to be a rest stop before we got back to Nexus to get hacking at the bullshit there. Senonu and Toya signed up as military advisors and trainers. I swear they've got the attention span of a cat.

Either that or one of them(or both? That'd be funny to watch…) are trying to get into the pants of that blonde Solar that leads Great Fork's threadbare military and dragged the other along on some adventure to impress her. Might be Senonu, he seemed to be using longer words than usual, but it's hard to be sure since I usually tune him out whenever my name isn't part of what he's saying. Oh man, if it's Toya, that Azure girl back in Nexus is going to have his hide if she thinks he's found himself a girlfriend, I think she totally has a crush on him.

So Great Forks kind of sucks, but it's looking like it might get entertaining any day now.

~~Yazata Rashnu

Sixth Entry

8th of Resplendent Wood

Every time I think I've seen Senonu and Kotero drag us into the worst trouble they possibly can, they have to take it one step further. Maybe I should change my name to "Forgotten Voice of Reason." Are you wondering where I'm writing this entry from, diary? I'll tell you: The Walker's Realm. Senonu dragged us in here chasing some damn ghost that was probably halfway to the Ebon Spires by the time we reached the edge, and we got stopped in our tracks by the Ghost Police while I tried to convince him to back out before something like that happened.

So it turned out that the Ghost Police were lead by an Abyssal, but instead of either running as fast as we could, or cutting his face off and wearing it like a mask, Kotero decided to chat him up and make a deal with him that we'd camp out and enjoy his company… until the Walker shows up and has a talk with him! Apparently if Visitor(the Abyssal) mistreats us, or if we screw up his camp, horrible things are going to happen. Maybe we should just make him spend the day(or whatever passes for a day here) in Senonu's company and wait for him to snap!

For the moment my claws are clipped, I suppose. Can't do a damn thing without hurting us all. Though I'm going to do my best to find something that'll make Senonu and Visitor regret whatever brought us to this.

~~Yazata Rashnu

PS: Did you know they have crazy hobos in the Shadowlands? One of them harassed Toya and myself until we read her letters.

First Letter

Visitor,

You're an Abyssal, so you're probably an asshole, but you're also the only sane person I've met in a long time. I foisted this letter off on a ghost before we left the shadowlands, so I hope it gets to you.

Can you even reply to this? Does the Underworld have a postal office? Probably does, staffed by skinny guys who're afraid of skeletal dogs when they're making their rounds.

Anyway, like I was saying: It was nice to see that I wasn't the only person who felt maligned by the craziness we have to deal with. I'm just glad you didn't decide to throw a punch when we walked into the Shadowlands or who knows where Senonu and Kotero would have dragged us, we're headed back to sanity and things we promised to deal with now. Even Toya would probably have loved to have a fight with some of the dead, he's got this thing about Mask of Winters and I think it kind of flows over to everything from the Underworld.

Did you talk much with Toya? He's about the only member of this pack that doesn't drive me crazy. Senonu tries to take everything apart and gets distracted by everything that shines, and almost everything he builds blows something up. I'm just glad he hasn't gotten it into his head to learn Sorcery or something. And Kotero! He's just… it's cute, you know, that he really cares about people? But sometimes it just gets in the way of things. A bit of violence would just let us breeze past a lot of obstacles, but no. If it looks like someone's had a rough childhood, Kotero's giving them the shirt off his back instead of leaving them bleeding out on the ground.

At least your bunch seem efficient, if a bit eccentric.

Look me up in Nexus if Walker gives you guys days off, you seem like you'd be able to find me.

Or write back.

Don't leave me all alone with these people.

~~Yazata Rashnu

Seventh Entry

Today is the 13th of Resplendent Wood. Nothing happened today.

And no, I didn't touch him.

Kaarya was in the way, dammit

~~Yazata Rashnu

Second Letter

Dear Ruby,

How the hell does anyone make their love life work? I've got this Solar(I'm a Lunar, it just HAPPENS) and half the time he's adorable but the other half of the time I want to punch his face in. And then I've got this godspawn that wants to drag me off to a pool and make passionate love to me for hours, but she gets on my nerves(or he, it's complicated), how do you make people like this go away without using sharp objects? And there's this other Solar that I should dig, because we get along great most of the time, but somehow I don't want anything but to be friends with him.

By the way, do Abyssals still, y'know, function? Because I might have a crush on one.

~~ANONYMOUS

Eighth Entry

Talking to Talespinner today made me realize something: I really don't give a damn about people.

I care what they do to each other, but the outcome's in their own hands. It's not my business to make sure they're all happy and snug and safe. As long as they don't behave in a way that offends me they can all go jump off a short plank into the elemental pole of Fire.

I care about the people who matter to me, the few I'd lay down my life for, and I'm going to hold myself to the standards that I'm going to hold the rest of the world to, that's about as much as can be asked. How Kotero doesn't get an ulcer caring about everyone all day is beyond me.

Speaking of Kotero, he ended up sabotaging my attempt to stab that bastard Rabszolga in the gut. He pre-empted me with his wordy bullshit and then, diary, get this, he was the one who threw the first punch! Maybe there's something respectable under the surface after all. Of course he didn't kill him, just break him free from some sort of supernatural slavery(is that irony? God of slavery being himself enslaved? I'll have to ask Senonu, he reads more than I do), and in the process complicating everything horribly.

He is a bit of a wet rag, though, a bit too respectful of Creation. We can shove this place around, re-arrange the furniture, if we want to. We don't have to ask permission and be polite! Unless we're talking to a Deathlord again, because some parts of Creation can shove right back.

I wonder if Visitor got my letter?

~~Yazata Rashnu

Third Letter

Visitor,

Will you be my date to the prom?

I heard from a reliable source that Abyssals like to fuck like jackrabbits

Dear Serenity Hijack, I never thought this would happen to me

Hey Visitor,

Romance is for assholes. Want to hang out, get kind of drunk and bitch about how everyone else is an idiot? I think you'd love to hear about the shit my Solar gets up to sometimes. Tell the Walker you need a week off or something, you seem like you'd have racked up some overtime by now.

~~Yazata Rashnu

Ninth Entry

Diary, I've rarely been this excited before. Somehow everything seems to be working out. Senonu somehow managed to be less annoying and make himself useful(we'll see how long that lasts), Toya and Kotero aren't all up in complaining about my methods and even the local deities seem to have realized that standing in our way isn't going to get them anywhere.

Despite everything, we're going to storm Rabszolga's sanctum and kick seven shades of piss out of him(if I have my way and if I can keep Kotero from babbling at him), and maybe break out Radiant Starfall in the process. The downside is that we have to deal with… fey-eaten slaves to do it. I haven't even met them yet and it's creeping me the hell out. Still, it'll be worth it. I'm expecting we'll make a difference in the end that'll mean less of them around.

Visitor still hasn't replied to my letters.

~~ Yazata Rashnu

Tenth Entry

Beat Rabszolga half to death, stopped from going the rest of the way by celestial police. How did that one of them know my name? Has she met us before? Seems Rabszolga had an illegal piece of furniture in his sanctum, I wouldn't know, something in my head told me not to look, I can only assume the rest of them either lack that voice of reason or regularly ignore it, both of which would explain a lot. Ended up having to fight Rabszolga alone for a while, as the rest of them banged away at his couch or something. Thank everything reliable that Toya figured the angry deity with the length of artifact chain was more important than the scenery.

He caught me a serious wallop on the side of the head with that thing, too. Ow.

~~ Yazata Rashnu

Eleventh Entry

Tried to heal own bruises, accidentally grew ears and a tail instead. No one must ever know of this.

Twelfth Entry

Learned how to make ears and tail come and go at will. May have some use. Still can't let the others know, I look ridiculous with those things.

Explored most of the palace, my banner finally cooled down and stopped blinding everyone I get near. Senonu thankfully got pummeled even harder than me and I don't have to worry about him talking my ear off. Seems like he's mostly harassing Talespinner at the moment, those two deserve each other.

Thirteenth Entry

[page has been partially ripped out]

"Oh Talespinner-sama, teach me the ways of sorcery!"

"Only if you can master my staff, Senonu-kun…"

Fourtheenth Entry

I wonder how long we're going to be stuck here?

I wonder if anyone's actually going to care if I sneak out and spend some time in town. Thankfully managed to avoid Kaarya so far, but not counting on my chances in this limited an environment.

Fifteenth Entry

I wonder if Toya wants to go do anything to pass the time?

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